Intro: I’m currently reading Michael Chabon’s Manhood for Amateurs.  The book is a collection of autobiographical essays about being a father, a husband and a son.  These essays have inspired me to take a stab at writing down a few thoughts in a similar vein. 

My kids are currently 5 and 3 years old.  This means I’m slowly entering the years where the two of them will/should be able to play together.  In another decade, they’ll be able to play together nicely.  But as the two of them are slowly figuring out how to interact with one another, I’m slowly starting to figure out just how long a period of silence I’m willing to accept without taking action.

Let’s say the two of them are in the playroom and I’m in the kitchen.  When they start playing, I can hear the two of them clearly: one of them is suggesting some type of game, the other own offers an agreement or rebuttal and so on.  If the game begins in earnest, there should also be some verbal exchanges that follow.  Sometimes, if the game gets really involved, there comes a moment of silence.

To some of you, silence is golden and you’re thinking “how wonderful that my children can play together quietly”.  But let me be the one to tell you: it’s a false sense of security.  I will grant you that any moment of silence that lasts, let’s say, up to 30 seconds, is safe.  There’s not a whole lot of hijinks the two kids can get up to in 30 seconds.  If, after that period of time, the two of them begin chatting pleasantly again (rare) or arguing fiercely (common) or fighting (very common), your moment of silence is over and you must intervene.

If, however, the moment of silence drags on for an eternity (i.e. anything over 30 seconds), then you must intervene because the truth is that they are up to something.  Once that thirty-first second of silence reaches my consciousness, I throw down whatever I was doing/eating and hurl myself towards the playroom.  Inevitably, they’ve done one of the following things:

a) created a precarious pile of chairs, tables, cushions, books, toys and other objects to be able to reach the desirable but otherwise unattainable destination (sharp scissors, paints, light switch);

b) they’ve obtained the sharp scissors and/or paints and have proceeded to create their own arts and crafts project by dissecting and/or painting on whatever most prized possession you have in the playroom; or

c) somebody’s hurt and/or crying.

And there goes our moment of silence.

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